drops of thoughts...

Monday, February 28, 2005

week 1 million

until you really stop and notice --
you don't really know there's a lot of pain everywhere... thing is, i think i've been noticing since i was like five.

my fingers are cold
the sky is completely clear --
lonesome, late evening.

Friday, February 25, 2005

its not getting easier

the moon slightly grinned
the winter wind stung my face -
and alone i walked.

i've been lonesome lately... the sky irrates my already raw spirit... but whatever, you know? i'm freezing to death in these winter months.. no warmth anywhere -- it's becoming quite cold next to the lake - but that's life, i suppose -- these cycles go on and on without permission and inhibitions...
the days wear away my edges --


Thursday, February 24, 2005



?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

just chilling at work... wish i had a cocktail.

Monday, February 21, 2005

given settings

traffic is a bitch. but still such an odd dynamic of our modernity. everyone with the same objective -- to get the hell outta here -- but going about it in with variations. cell phones galore, loud radios, pissed off middle fingers, horns, all the lane changing, cutting off, nose picking, day dreaming.... what have you. i'd like to somehow write a book about traffic jams -- the downfalls and maybe, with some aspects, bucking the civilizing process... who knows. speaking of book ideas -- i also want to write an interaction in bowling alleys across the US. i don't know where'd i go with it... but maybe the same premise as traffy jammies.

i miss his morning time eyes -- a lot. tomorrow when i wake up, i might think of his watery blue eyes in passing -- but not until i look at them on weekend mornings(after nights of falling in lake michigan dreams) do i realize that there is a constant ache in my everyday away. he's a good boyfriend -- the forever kind.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

real beau brummel

there's one really great thing about me that i'd like to announce to the blogging community -- and it's not that i'm pompous, i am just proud of it. i tear up billy joel's 'it's still rock and roll to me' on karaoke(e). that's right. betcha' would've never guessed i'm a billy joel, karaoke kinda' girl. well, i am.
andy, my boo, got a singing machine for christmas 2 years ago from my grandparents -- i have full custody of it. and if there's one thing i like to do to unwind -- it's sing some billy joel. it's not only billy joel, you know. there's Sweet Dreams by LaBouche -- and here, i have to insert a shout out to Nicole Woods -- my back up. my lovely roommate heather and i butter up How Do I Live by LeAnn Rimes -- Lynsi Griffin, a sweet ass graphic design major can sing quite sugary to DayDreamin' by Tatyana Ali.. also, another nicole woods anctedote is that she rips apart the Beastie Boys.. and on a good day, J.Lo's Jenny from the Block. my england friend, Anna Lee does some serious Patsy Cline... honestly -- we're all very good.
so, when i turned on the radio -- billy joel was jamming to 'still rock n roll to me' -- and it brought a subtle smile to my face....

i'm listening to TLC right now... watch out 8th grade, silk pajamas, work boots and casey anderson's full size van where we had many TLC concerts...

in 6th grade, there was the violent femmes and nirvana. i had a kurt cobain shirt that i wore religiously -- i always had a blue and green flannel to supplement it -- and airwalks. i got bleach on the k.c. shirt one day -- but that was no hinderance... honestly, i never washed my clothes anyways -- a little bleach might have helped it...

i've come a long way -- NOT.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

or maybe just plain

my cell phone has offically died. it's true, i have written a eulogy to commemerate the death of a wonderful phone:

Frank, the faithful cell phone, has died after his comatose that occured soon after he was shut in the drivers side door. It was unfortunate that I was wearing my bag on the wrong side that fateful December day. The snow was blowing when his display was seen for the last time. And now, he will never ring that special way he rings again. His hobbies included listening well, waking me up in the mornings, offering himself as a video game and so many others. thank you, Frank, and God rest your technological soul.

so, here it is -- the eve of another week. i can't stand this.
i am ready to saddle my horse so badly.
i have been restless lately - and it's not going away.. some nights i can't get comfortable with the fact that i am still here. it's not healthy having this uneasiness -- i'm impulsive and i act on it.
i'm thinking exotic.

Friday, February 11, 2005

high school

1. Copy and post in your Diary.
2. BOLD anything that is true.
3. Leave plain anything that is not true.
4. Add something.

001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I've done something illegal.
009. I've watched action movies.
010. I have been in a five star hotel.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have acne-free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I've been to another country.
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really smart.
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain. (just summer rain)
024. I'm paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way that I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think marajuana should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I've been to a forgien country.
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I'm bourgeoise and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
057. I'm obsessed with my xanga!
058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer.
060. I don't think OJ killed his wife.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.
068. I've rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything deadly.
077. I have a lot to learn.
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have been rejected by someone.
084. I have a green sweater.
085. I own the "SOUTH PARK" movie.
086. I have avoided work to play on OD.
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.
089. I love my best friend.
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
093. I have to advance my career in every position I take in the professional world.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. Had a crush on somebody you have never met.
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.

107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest movies ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "The O.C."
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think ramen is one of the best foods in the whole world.
115. I am suffering mending of a broken heart.
116. I am a nerd.
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I try not to change who I am for someone.
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I have seen a live birthing.
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have had major surgery.
124. I have adopted a pet from the SPCA.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Some people call me by a nickname.
127. I once stole a music stand.
128. I like pumpkin pie.
129. I love NASCAR!
130. I own over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.
134. I'm still in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong guys, or have them fall for me.
137. I'll try anything three times.
138. Done drugs other than alcohol or cannabis.
139. I'm having trouble sleeping.
140. I am a cuddler.
141. I love John Waters films.
142. I have made a home videotape.
143. Sloth is my favorite deadly sin.
144. One of my feet is bigger than the other.
145. I know all the words to the "Firefly" theme song.
146. I am abnormally obsessed with all things Buffy/Angel.
147. I love comfort food.
148. I'm a right-winged conservative Christian, and damned proud of it. So there.
149. I'm Catholic.
150. I can walk a mile without feeling like I'm going to die.
151. I am a college student.
152. I love to cook.
153. I hate vacuuming with a passion.
154. I'm addicted to photography and picture frames.
155. My sister is one of my best friends.
156. I want to lose weight/tone my body.
157. My daughter means more to me than anyone.
158. I listen to foreign music.
159. I'm a hopeless romantic.
160. I've changed so much since high school that I'm almost unrecognizable.
161. I want to run a foster home in the future.
162. I enjoy listening to news talk on the AM radio.
163. I get random urges to die my hair, and follow them.
164. I have a tattoo (10 of them actually)
165. I can touch my tongue to my nose.
166. i love to fart.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

hell ya

If you were a stripper...
Favourite Color
Your stripper name is Stipperella
Your specialties are dirty talk
You have ___ stds 1 but ur not quite sure what it is
You will die of a customer will kill you
How popular will you be pretty good cuz u suck well
This fun quiz by Starlette50005 - Taken 1457 Times.
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

Monday, February 07, 2005


ohmygod -- i have disturbing news. like, i have this friend and she is totally losing her mind -- like, she is living with this guy who I don't even know... and she is like dropping outta' school with like a horrible gpa. i don't understand. really, i think college is like the only way to ever achieve ANYTHING. and i mean anything. like happiness and family life and fish tank maintainence. seriously, because without college, like, you totally won't get any money at all. seriously. she was like in my youth group and everything. i knew something was up when she started listening to secular music -- like modest mouse or something... sick. but on a lighter, happier note -- at least god is cleansing the world of evil by drowning and devouring thousands of absolute poverty stricken asians.

give me a break people. what the hell is wrong with western idea of christianity...?
certain things just load a double barrel shot gun and shoot the shit out of my head.
like, seriously.

Friday, February 04, 2005

I am nerdier than 23% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

maby lunguge is not good

i've got on this white tshirt i found at salva army -- it's pretty basic. it's got white-ness with a few yellow stains here and there towards the bottom hem. probably from food -- maybe gravy, the thanksgiving kind that go on turkey and mashed potatoes.
it's a vneck.
usually i don't go for those... i think most vnecks are for tramps... the kind who don't understand that boobs are for breast feeding and boyfriends (or husbands, depedning on who you talk to) and not the public. don't let your fat spill out over your abercrombie shirt to beguile horny guys. personally -- keep that enticing spirit for your car at country road stop signs... i just don't want to see if you have a freckled bosom -- and more importantly, i don't want the boys i care about lusting after your immodest self.... but if you want my opinion on that -- just ask me.
anyways, so this vneck, white with yellow speckled shirt -- i started buying white shirts in abundance during my high school years -- for reasons known only to a few... but this one intrigues me -- not just because it has a long enough torso to fit mine and not even the 1997 thanksgiving food stains... it's just a shirt, you say... but for years, maybe decades someone else wore it to bed with flannel pants... this shirt might have been part of crazy sex nights where harold's mistress ripped it off his body while his wife was out getting groceries -- a single dad might have put it on after showering before picking up the kids half way for a mere, but happy, weekend where he and his kids will sit around and watch movies or play darts.
you never know, you see?
that's what makes it special.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Take the quiz: "What Kinda Kiss R U?"

Tender Kiss
The tender kiss is the feeling where you can be anywhere and show your feelings.