to, you.. with love.
why can't people be sad anymore? why is it a huge, devastating dilemma when the human taps into her soul and she embraces the pain she's feeling?
there's a beautiful darkness that must be recognized before a total appreciation of the light comes about. This might sound new-agey, but i propose that it's not new age, but old age that brings this around. it wasn't so long ago that sadness just might have been a part of everyone's life.. before the dawn of the "everyone should be happy"generation people knew it was quite alright to be sad.. and sadness could come.. and sadness could be heavy enough to make me fall down and contemplate the dirt. why is it that everyone wants everyone else to be happy.. not selflessness, however, the complete contrast.
person A's dad dies and person B uses techniques and phrases to help her "get over it" such as: "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" and "buck up" or "you have other people to be strong for" et cetera.. so person A (let's call her berica) decides she has no right to mourn, or even to grieve, because there were just too many people , besides herself, to make happy. oh, and if i have faith, berica thought, in a benevolent God, i shouldn't feel sad.. because after all, He granted me this to be "stronger".. and i should just trust in Him. Person B (let's call her everyone else with a few expections) was uncomfortable. We've, somewhere, lost the ability to be compassionate on a one-on-one basis... so, everyone was put off when berica wasn't her bubbly self, but full of doubt and sadness. So, when everyone was healing their awkward hearts around pain, berica was suffocating her very right to grieve her dad.
she didn't get the chance..until later. much later, mind you.
think about it, though. when i fall down to contemplate the dirt and mud fills my nose holes and i'm finding it hard to breathe... why not instead, tell me it's okay to feel this way.. and let it be at that. don't pressure me into being happy when i'm not. okay?
let me own my feelings.
just be there.
and that goes for everyone else. don't shame.
thank you, dr. alan wolfelt.
ps. i do believe god to be benevolent.. i also believe (s)he granted me the gift to sorrow and to mourn. blessed are those who mourn, right? so.. that's another story.