foe toes

today was one of those rub-your-eyes-red days. when the minute hand took his sweet time getting around the clock. when your heart can break with a quick glance days. today was one of those terrible awake, but terrible asleep days. there were mainly three breaks in the monotonous drain of my energy... i talked to andy twice -- and usually the sound of his voice makes my heart beat normally. so that was good. and heather and i ate food and watched Buffalo '66... and that was a good movie. refreshing to my mundane-ness of the day. i got to page 100 in White Noise by DeLilo -- all the while fighting down the urge to cut off my running nose. i'm sick. and sore. and just like me, i of course don't carry kleenex. so in the middle of my hardest class with my most intimidating professor -- my nose starts to drip. i awkwardly excuse myself from class -- more than slightly embarrassed -- go blow my nose. these things aren't all that bad, it was the coming back into the room that had me nervous. i find that it is so much easier leaving then it is entering. especially when i would rather take an ice pick and drain my idiotic nose with force.
i miss my boyfriend today, too -- pretty pathetically bad. cause as i have said before, i am a huge baby when i feel sick. he takes care of me, but not when he's in chicago. one and a half years ago, before i carved my sociology major into stone, i was focusing on english. ever since i could hold a pencil, i have been writing, in some form or another -- and reading just as much. i used to play with books like little girls would cherish their dolls. i remember building imaginary houses with all my story books and being content. weird, i know. okay, all that to say, i felt like english should have been my major -- turns out, i still love those things... just in my own time. anyways, back to the point of this story -- when i was still an english major, my american lit II calss had to read Stephen King's short story "the Body". turns out, i got deathly ill and as fate should have it, i already skipped many lit classes, so i had to go... sick as a dog. andy, fresh with love for me, invited me over, made me chicken noodle soup and read the entire story - out loud. this is why i depend on him when i'm sick -- because he lets me. oh, and he confiscates all the ice picks i have to my name.