returning from away

recently, i have become partly amused but mainly quite disheartened.

the past three days have opened my eyes to a few characteristics that seriously influence my outlook on the church. i suppose since i surround myself with people who aren't mean and snappy and full of an elite-i-am-right-you-are-wrong attitude, i never knew they existed in real life. strike that, part of me knew they existed, but the majority of me never wanted to believe they did. i can't see how worshipping doctorine is worshipping God. how above all else we are to love God with our whole mind, self and all our strength and also love people - and how that fits in with smashing the avil of 'truth', of 'the ONE revelation of scripture', of 'my way is the right way' over the heads of people who think differently.

i, over here at Huntington University, do not just pull this stuff from thin air. i have a life that i live - i haven't been brainwashed by Dr. Sanders ((as some of the 5pointers believe)). he mainly taught our classes with great intellect and much patience and handled the chaotic mess that the system made of his life with grace and love. that's it. that's how he became a major influence and a fine man --

i am relatively new at this Christian lifestyle - it's hard to adjust. its much more difficult when i see this warfare over doctorines, character bashing of a great man ((when his theology is in question)), put downs and insults over xanga lines by and with complete strangers, weaponizing the bible, monsterizing God, et cetera.

i joined in on this Christian thing to love people - to work my hardest to make sure everyone i came in contact with knew that God loves them. try to tell little marcus, who at the age of 11 had to hold his mother's hand while she bled to death after being stabbed by her live in boyfriend, that if you aren't a Calvinist you are not going to make it to heaven. Or what about the little girl who lost her dad in a fire? are you going to tell her that God killed her dad as part of His plan? These aren't very loving things. i want to be a lover of people - not a lover of doctorine. i can only pray that this continues for me, i see the malice that is brought forth. theology, like everything else, has become a human institution of sorts - and let's face it, we screw everything up.

my God may be a pansy to you, but He is relationally centered and compassionate - and above all else, He is love.