francis dore and the graph outline with beats

the blue goes on forever out my window facing northeast. like my heart. it hasn't gotten easier (but what ever does). i still have a void. i don't whine as much, nor cry as much ((outwardly)) -- but i still ache.
lots.
i have a mortal fear of this week - so many shitloads to do and, if i think about it, not any time at all to do it in. everything is going to be mediocre. but i suppose, that's what life is. maybe not for you, but that's what my life is.
part of me feels tingly - part of me feels like abandoning this entire life that has been created - part of me feels unbounded with the enthusiasm of this life - but then... that's only sometimes. those times are on blanket nights and soft sand days... ((those have been forever))..
i have no earthly clue.
but i understand... only a few things... and those few things keep me going.

so, there's that.